


raging fire of an ever-dying star

by KuroHikaTsuchi



Category: Dreaming of Sunshine - Silver Queen, The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crossover, Dissociation, Fix-It, Gen, Mind Control, Reincarnation, Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24331525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroHikaTsuchi/pseuds/KuroHikaTsuchi
Summary: In which Shikako has an identity crisis and there is fire. Lots of fire.
Relationships: Harry Dresden & Nara Shikako
Comments: 10
Kudos: 214
Collections: Exchange no Jutsu 2020, Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection





	1. Elaine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SlowMercury](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlowMercury/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Dreaming of Sunshine](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/53648) by Silver Queen. 



> Hope you'll enjoy this!  
> Thanks to my wonderful beta JohnBurtonLee!

_“We were stars.”_

  


Pain. Agony. That was all she felt. Her head felt as if it was splitting in two, bursting at the seams. 

_Who is she?_

She didn’t know. Not really. Oh, she remembered her life. Lives. But there were too many of them to make sense. Was she Elaine? Or was she Shikako? Or someone entirely different? 

Too many names. Too many memories. An amalgamation of identities, of _names_. All shifting and evolving, adapting to the world just as the world adapted to her. 

But it all came back to one moment, didn't it? The moment when she stopped being _just_ her and became _more_. 

  


_"We were stars."_

  


She was in her mindscape, she knew that now. It looked almost like what she remembered from her life before. Her room still had the bookshelves full of books and scrolls, her table was still the perpetual mess of half-finished sealing projects and her bed was still covered by the blanket her mom had knitted. 

It wasn't entirely the same though. 

Some of the shelves now held books on magic and she could see her taser chains and thorn wand peeking from under the bed. However, the most drastic change is not in the additional items she could spy in her room, it was what laid beyond it. Because through her door, she could see that her room didn't lead to the hallway of her family house in the Nara compound anymore, instead, it led to the house that she has been living in for almost a decade now. Justin DuMorne's house. 

The contrast between her room and the house it was now situated in was jarring to say the least. From the different architectures to the color and lighting, it felt like stepping into a new world. A sinister world. 

Another sharp burst of pain started somewhere behind the eyes and traveled through her brain, threatening to swallow her whole. 

Her eyes slowly opened ( _when had she closed them?_ ), dispelling the darkness. Not that the room was a lot brighter than the peek she'd had. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, she took in her surroundings. The room was spacious but not grand with high ceilings and narrow doors. Candles were spread around the room, casting dark shadows that flickered with the unpredictable dance of the flames. 

There were too many shadows. 

Aside from those cast by objects in the room, a mass of pitch-black tendrils swirled from the corner of the room. They encompassed it completely and she was willing to bet that they extended to the rest of her mindscape. More than that, she could feel them burrowing into her being, seeking to invade the sanctuary of her room. 

Well, that just won't do. 

Maybe Just-Elaine would have had trouble fighting against this mental invasion since her magic had always been better suited for the subtler arts but she wasn't just Elaine, was she? She was more. She had always been more even if she hadn't been aware of it at the time. 

At her core, she was Shikako. Or was it Shikabane-hime and Gelel? No, no, she was Elaine. Elaine was her. She had been Elaine Mallory for years already and she will keep being Elaine. But she also remembered being a Nara. And once a Nara, always a Nara. 

She reached for the hidden part of her that would always be there and _shifted_. Shadows were her domain after all and she had an unwanted guest to remove. 

  


_"We were stars."_

  


This time when she opened her eyes, she saw the real world. 

Funnily enough, she found herself in the same room where she had just defeated the crawling infestation that had been trying to subjugate her. Further observations revealed that she wasn't alone in the drab room. Aside from her, two other occupants were facing off, both unaware of what had transpired in her mind. 

She _knew_ them. 

Harry, her brother in all but blood. The one who'd been there for her since the fateful night they both ended up in this very house, some six years ago. 

And DuMorne. Her... she didn't know what he was exactly to her. Even as Just-Elaine, she'd never been as close to him as Harry was. Maybe it was an innate sense that something was wrong, or maybe it was the experience (even subconscious) of being _More-Than-Elaine_ that highlighted how what she had thought before of as affection, maybe even love, was nothing but a hopeful illusion. 

She could see him now. Really _see_ him. The soulgaze had _burned_ the image into her brain. The cloying rot of his soul, his dark ambitions, and madness all laid over the harmless image he had tried so hard to project. Stripped of all his pretenses, she could finally see him for who he really was. A monster hiding behind a pleasant face. 

DuMorne was standing in front of her, facing away as his gaze was locked upon Harry. His staff was gripped in his hand as the traces of his last spell fizzled around it. 

Opposing him stood Harry, armed with both his staff and blasting rod. He looked worse for wear, blood dribbling down the side of his head and his clothes were dirty and slightly singed. 

It seemed like the battle had come to a stand-still, the kind of lull that usually preceded increased hostilities. 

They were both facing away from her. Good. This gave her time to plan. 


	2. Harry

_It doesn’t make sense,_ Harry thought as he dodged another spell thrown at him. Thrown at him by Justin, his mentor, his teacher, his foster father. The one who had sent a demon after him and was now actively trying to kill him. 

“Why? Why?!” he cried out, desperately trying to understand how things had turned so sour. How he had failed to see that his mentor was evil. 

Just last week everything had been perfect. He had been surrounded by the most important people in his life, school had been going good — he wasn’t the smartest in the class by far (that title belonged to Elaine) — but he had been improving a lot this past year. 

Most importantly however, he had finally worked up the courage to confess his crush to Elaine. And while Elaine had rejected him (at the same time explaining what asexuality and aromanticism were), he had gained something even better. A sister in all but blood, a confirmation that he hadn’t been the only one to consider them connected in a way that transcended mere companionship that comes from sharing a living space. 

And now he wasn’t even sure if he could trust her anymore. 

There was no question now that Justin was evil. You didn’t try to mind control someone and then do your very best to kill them without having _some_ nefarious intentions. 

But with Elaine it was different. He came back to the house, even though he could’ve run, just to save her. Because nobody deserved to be manipulated by their evil mentor, especially not his sister. 

But she just stood stock-still, hiding behind Justin. Her blank expression didn’t even twitch when he blew out the front door. It was eerie. 

It was only the fact that she was behaving so oddly that let him desperately hope that maybe she wasn’t on Justin’s side, maybe he hadn’t misjudged her too. 

He dove out of the way of another spell. It hit the window instead and shattered it. ‘ _Concentrate, Harry. That could have been you,_ ’ he thought somewhat hysterically. 

Harry was barely keeping upright at that point, tiredness settling over him and making his movements sluggish. He focused his will and snarled out a "Fuego!". 

Justin didn't even bother shielding against the attack, merely side-stepping out of the way of the scarlet flames. The flames that were now headed directly at the motionless Elaine. 

Harry's eyes widened in horror at what he had just done. He didn't even have the time to warn her before she was engulfed in the blazing inferno. 

_Hells bells, I... I killed her. Elaine. I killed her._

The silence was deafening. Neither wizard moved a muscle, both stupefied by the events. The fire continued to grow, eating at the furniture and illuminating the room with its crimson glow. 

There was no body. It was the first thought that passed through Harry's head once he had regained enough coherence to think properly. There was no body where Elaine once stood. 

Not that he had a lot of time to ponder on this as Justin used his distraction to throw another spell at him. He barely dodged in time, but in doing so he tripped on some debris and landed on his side, further jarring his injuries. 

Justin pointed his staff straight at him as he advanced. His dispassionate gaze didn't waver when he said the words that would haunt him for the years to come. 

"Shame it had to end this way. If only you had joined me from the beginning... I would have given you Elaine. She was quite a useful thrall after all." 

"You... you're a monster," Harry spat out. 

If anything, it seemed to amuse Justin. He got closer with each deliberate step, his unwavering attention fixed on Harry as he tried to scramble away. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw a shadow dart across the room. The dark shape struck out at his foster father faster than he could track. And then all he heard was a sickening crunch before Justin fell forward in a boneless heap. 

Behind him, the shadow dispersed and resolved itself into the form of Elaine. Whole and alive. Her arms were still extended forward from where she had dealt the killing blow. Her face was set in a determined scowl, none of her usual timidity peeking through. 

"Elaine? But... I saw you... You were..." he choked out. 

"It was a veil. I put up a veil of myself because I needed a distraction to take down DuMorne so when I saw my chance I took it." 

Harry continued staring at her. He couldn't believe his eyes. She... she was alive. Elaine was alive. He didn't kill her, his only family left. She was still alive and she was just standing there as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t almost killed her. 

Elaine approached him slowly, completely ignoring the cooling corpse of their foster father as she passed by it. She was still strangely calm when she crouched down next to him. 

"It's okay Harry, I'm perfectly fine, see? C'mon we need to get out of the house before it burns down completely." 

He let out a sob, overwhelmed by everything that had happened, and lunged forward to embrace her in a crushing hug. She hugged him back just as fiercely. 

"We're okay, Harry. Everything will be okay. I promise." 

‘ _I'll make sure of it. I won't let anyone or anything ever hurt you again,_ ’ Harry swore to himself. 

The siblings then made their way out of the house, holding hands as they left behind the scorching blaze of their childhood. 

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this!  
> This was originally going to be a twins Shikako and Elaine plot with Harry to get rid of DuMorne and run away together story. Then I remembered that Elaine is a perfect name for Shikako ("fawn"). And then angst happened. Lots of angst.  
> And so this story was born. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)
> 
> (Don't worry, they do go back to retrieve Bob from the wreckage, but that's another story entirely.)
> 
> Title from Ragnarok II: The Calling (The Bifrost Incident) by The Mechanisms


End file.
